More on Stanford's USC upset.

Sopranos ending
Nothing compared to Stanford's
Don't stop believing.
--Jeff Suto

October 6, 2007: Stanford 24, USC 23

Stanford U S C
David and Goliath too
Pressure bursts Trojans.
--Anonymous

John David Booty:
Many gamblers are upset
Bet farm on 'SC.

Broke middle finger
That's okay; the Trojan fans
Likely gave you theirs.
--Gary Tyrrell

Sun up in Sydney
Glowing bright as Stanford win
Still night for 'SC.

Aussies not impressed
Watching rugby and cricket
Much ale still flowed.
--Richey Neuman

"We bow to no man,
No program here at Stanford."
Coach Harbaugh Haiku.
--Jeff Suto

Great game, Mark Bradford
Heart so heavy, hands so soft
This one's for you, Pops.
--Gary Tyrrell

Four sacks on the day
Trojans don't protect Booty
Those worthless scumbags.
--Jeff Suto

Big Game, December 2, 2006: Stanford 17, Cal 26

No Big Game haiku?
Terrible season quashes
creativity.
--Cynthia Gentry

The Big Game Haiku
traditionally happy
Weenies suck less now.
--Zach Nelson

29-point spread
Per quarter, or for the game?
At least there's no rain.
--Gary Tyrrell

Does Ted Leland
dream of electric Buddies?
Tainted legacy.
--Jeff Suto

Going to the game?
Faculty Glade rendezvous
11 o'clock.
--Gary Tyrrell

Covering the spread
10 minutes to go in 4th
Moral victory?
--Jeff Suto

Game live in Philly
Was that a touchdown we scored?
Historic event.

Made son Ben watch game
This is where you'll go to school
Hey, Dad: One more beer?
--Richey Neuman

Cardinal sucked not
Weenies lose their Rose Bowl berth
All right now on Earth.
--Elizabeth Newell

Can we finally
field a decent team in my
lifetime? Maybe not.

Alas, off to work
KC winter sucks less with
Hopes of Stanford win.
--Nima Badiey

November 4, 2006: Stanford 0, USC 42

Did we really lose
Forty-two to zero? My
toddler should coach.
--Cynthia Gentry

You would not be stunned
had you seen the Cardinal’s
prior performance.
--Gary Tyrrell

What! Forty two to
nothing. Life is unfair to
old Stanford alums.
--Nima Badiey

It's Stanford football
not your mid-night wailing that
drives Mommy to drink.
--Cynthia Gentry

Treat alum seizure
made the game not look so bad
...who am I kidding?
--Richey Neuman

O'Douls? What's the harm?
Let me open that for you.
Calling Doc Richey!
--Gary "The Enabler" Tyrrell

Doctors all aware
O'Douls not good for withdrawl
One needs martini.
--Richey Neuman, M.D.

April 19, 2005: Stanford in the NCAA Tournament

(And now for a brief break for Stanford Basketball, which in March 2005 earned its 11th straight trip to the NCAA Tournament, only to fall in the first round.)

Choose Cal or Stanford?
No allegiances remain
Done both now finished.
--Nima Badiey

Slit your wrist, Nima.
What color are you bleeding?
(Just a metaphor.)
--Gary Tyrrell

All this Weenie talk
Making Cindi so cranky
Pregnancy hormones.
--Cynthia Gentry

NCAA Champs
Where is Stanford where is Cal?
Wooden's legacy.
--Nima Badiey

Thank you for asking.
Stanford has one 89.
Cal's got 23.
--Gary Tyrrell

December 8, 2004: Senator Feinstein Defends the Weenies

(Skip to the end of this post for the statement that Senator Feinstein (D-CA) had read into the congressional record today.)

Pander to Weenies
Haircut like Kim Novak in
Planet of the Apes.
--Gary Tyrrell

Almost a great one
ID of actress just off
Hunter not Novak.
--Jeff Suto

Good call, Jeff Suto.
Haiku juices were flowing
Should have Googled it.
--Gary Tyrrell

"Nothing can detract
From Cal's great season." It can:
You are still Weenies.
--Richey Neuman

Text of Senator Diane Feinstein's (D-CA) statement:

Mr. President, I rise today to express my concerns about college football's Bowl Championship Series and the formula used to select teams to play in the major bowls at the end of the season.

Despite having one of their best seasons in years, the University of California at Berkeley Golden Bears were denied an opportunity to play the University of Michigan in the Rose Bowl on New Years Day, and will instead play Texas Tech in the Holiday Bowl on December 30th in San Diego.

For decades the Rose Bowl has featured the top teams from the Pac Ten Conference and the Big Ten Conference. Players and coaches dream of representing their universities in one of college football's showcase events. For their part, Cal fans and alumni have waited 46 years for another opportunity to see their Bears play in the "granddaddy of them all".

With all due respect to Texas, it just does not seem right to see the champion of the Big Ten Conference, Michigan, play a school from the Big Twelve Conference and not the Pac Ten. It would be like eliminating the traditional floats from the Tournament of Roses Parade.

I know it may surprise some that a proud Stanford alum would take to the Senate floor to speak out on behalf of the Cardinal's bitter rival, but as a senator representing the entire state of California, I feel it is my obligation to support all of our fine college athletes and to ensure that fairness and good sportsmanship prevails in the competitive arena.

The BCS was designed to ensure that the top two schools in the country have a chance to play each other for the national title. I am proud that another California school, the University of Southern California Trojans, will play number two ranked Oklahoma in the Orange Bowl.

If the top team from the Pac Ten cannot play in the Rose Bowl because it is playing for the national title, fans expect to see the next best school from the conference take its place.

And, make no mistake about it; Cal has earned a right to play in the Rose Bowl.

Led by Head Coach Jeff Tedford, quarterback Aaron Rodgers, defensive end Ryan Riddle, and running back J.J. Arrington, Cal won 10 and lost only once - on the road at USC -- beating teams by an average of 23.9 points per game. They were the only team to rank in the top six both in scoring and scoring defense.

In the end, despite beating Southern Mississippi 26-16 to win their final game of the year, Cal lost points in the ESPN/USA Today coaches poll -- one of the polls that accounts for 33 per cent of the BCS rankings - and thus was edged out by Texas for the opportunity to play in the Rose Bowl.

Let me be clear. The Texas Longhorns had a great season and I have a lot of respect for the University and their coaches and players.

But, Cal led Texas in the BCS rankings for most of the season and it is common sense to me that if a team is in position to earn a trip to the Rose Bowl and they win their last four games of the season - as Cal did -- they should not be denied an opportunity to play in that game.

Surely we can find a way to preserve the best traditions of college football and ensure that teams that earn an opportunity play in a major bowl, are allowed to do so.

In their last game, Cal had an opportunity to score another touchdown when the result of the game was no longer in doubt. Instead, Coach Tedford decided to let the clock run out. Perhaps another score would have impressed enough voters in the coaches poll to give Cal a chance to play in the Rose Bowl. But Coach Tedford did the right thing and college football should reward those decisions, not penalize them.

Nothing can detract from Cal's great season and I am confident that the team will bring home a win in the Holiday Bowl on December 30th. I wish them the best of luck

December 6, 2004: Cal Loses Rose Bowl Berth

No Rose Bowl for Cal
Sweet sound of Weenies sobbing
Tedford gets millions?
--Cynthia Gentry

Ten and one record
Holiday Bowl, a.k.a.
The "Cal-Was-Hosed" Bowl

Edged out of Rose Bowl
"Red State" coaches pick Texas
Al Gore feels your pain.

"Life is just not fair.
I swear to God it isn't."
Move to Canada?

Horrible 'Niners.
You won't need to relocate.
Hello, Jeff Tedford!
--Gary Tyrrell

Dead Kennedys say
(Not Donald) "a holiday
in Cambodia."
--Jeff Suto