Pre-Big-Game Haiku

Tired, so tired
Take the taste out of my mouth
By roasting weenies.

Ordinarily
Running backs, not cornerbacks
Are ankle breakers.

Which Kevin Hogan
Do we see on Saturday?
Salvage the season.

We're leaving Las Vegas
On Sunday 12/21
Victory in hand.

Farm will rise again
Team's reach should exceed grasp or
What's the Rose Bowl for?
—Jeff Suto

Irrelevant Game
Two losers, pitched in battle
Back to normalcy.
—Richey Neuman

Big Game Week Haiku

Expectations kill
A disappointing season?
With just two losses?
—We Bow to No Man

One hundred sixteenth:
More than a century of
Stanford dominance.
—Gary Tyrrell

Take care of weenies
Hope for series of upsets
Alamo not bad.
—We Bow to No Man

Traditional foes,
One puts sport ahead of class,
The other's bowl bound.

Give 'em the Axe! Where?
(Many choices...one is clear)
Right in the neck! There!
—Scott DeBarger

"U.C. Berkeley"
Five syllables? Four? Not sure.
The Weenies still suck.
—Richey Neuman

Stanford 28, Cal 34.

I've got the blues bad
Please, dear God, not El Paso
Next week, go U-Dub!
--We Bow to No Man

The night before.

My mom's Facebook comment:
"You know Cal is going to win."
I will disown her.
--Cynthia Gentry

Bloom is off Tedford
Roses die in November
Withered, like Cal D.

If Wildcats beat Ducks,
And Ducks beat Naughty Beavers,
Pray AZ loses
--We Bow to No Man

Gary visiting
Old Bears taking their money
No doubt he got in.
--Fake Bill Walsh

Half a century
Since their most recent Rose Bowl
Cal 59ers

32 percent
Quite a tuition increase
Strike Bonfire Rally?
--Gary Tyrrell

December 1, 2007: 110th Big Game. Stanford 20, Cal 13.

"We are by the car
in the eucalyptus grove.
We are wearing red."
--Gary Tyrrell, quoting Zach

Zach's Blackberry "died"
Passive-aggressive shunning
Who will he fire?
--Cynthia Gentry & Gary Tyrrell

We lead at the half
Stanford declares victory
of the moral kind.

Our lead stays intact
Axe returns to Stanford home.
My Cal friends are sad.
--Stanford Football Haiku reader Cliff Speed

At Peet's, Cal fan
gets joe, 10 packets Equal.
Her team thus loses.
--Cynthia Gentry

Big Game conflicts with Nap Time

Late game start does not
Bode well for child's nap schedule
Toddler does not drink.
--Cami

Warm-up to The 110th Big Game

I'm in Las Vegas
running 13.1 miles
Watching on Versus.
--Jeff Suto

Three-and-out Punt Fest
A longer half-marathon
Than Jeff will endure?
--Gary Tyrrell

B'Game win possible?
Both teams are in a tailspin
Who will crash softest?

First Big Game for son
Beginning great tradition
Gar's ale for breakfast.
--Richey Neuman

November 29, 2004: Coach Teevens Fired

Buddy Teevens axed
Ten and twenty-three record
Three Big Games too late.
--Gary Tyrrell

Was Buddy Teevens
Paul Wiggins for the new age?
Certain are you, yes.
--Jeff Suto

Knute Ara Lou Devine
Tyrone got axed bled green not
Get it back perhaps.
--Zach Nelson

Buddy's salary
Was four hundred-fifty K
Too low for Tyrone.
--Jeff Suto

For four-fifty K
Tom Ridge is available
Scary uni-brow.
--Gary Tyrrell

For four-fifty K
Suto is available
Will save Leland's job.
--Jeff Suto