Stanford Football vs. San Diego State University: Pre-Game Thoughts

Backup power? Check
Rashaad Penny with Seahawks?
We go one and oh.

Heisman campaign starts
Toby, Andrew, Christian, Bryce
What the frack, East Coast?
--Jeff

October 26: Stanford 15, Oregon State 14

"Keller Chryst threw a 3-yard touchdown pass to JJ Arcega-Whiteside with 20 seconds left and No. 20 Stanford survived Bryce Love's absence for a 15-14 come-from-behind victory over Oregon State on Thursday night." Stanford Athletics recap

Those angry Beavers
Outplayed, outcoached, Cardinal
Why no Costello?

Nuhn-nuhn-nuhn-nuhn-nuhn
That's the sound of a QB's
Eyes locked on target.
—Jeff Suto

On the eve of Stanford vs. Utah

Old school David Shaw
No job loss for injury
Chryst is arisen.
—Jeff

September 23, 2017: Stanford 58, UCLA 34

KJ Costello
Will be starting quarterback
For ASU game.
—Jeff
[Editor's note: This haiku was submitted on September 18. Is Jeff psychic? Possibly.]

Stanford tradition
Love now the front runner for
Heisman runner-up.
—Jeff

Stanford-UCLA Game to Kick Off at 7:30 PM on September 23

No. 19 [sic] Stanford will face No. 25 UCLA on Saturday, Sept. 23, at 7:30 PM on ESPN. Stanford has defeated UCLA nine consecutive times, and seeks its 10th-straight victory over the Bruins in the 2017 home opener.

UCLA Bruins
Great time for home opener
Bring your own flashlight.
—Richey

September 16, 2017: Stanford 17, San Diego State 20

"After a 15-minute delay caused by a bank of lights going out, Stanford gives up a late TD in a 20-17 loss."

Lose to the Aztecs?
YES! Revenge must be so sweet
To Montezuma.
—Richey

Stanford vs. San Diego State: September 16, 2017

Watch out for trap game
Aztecs can cut your heart out
But Love conquers all.
—Jeff

On the Eve of Stanford vs. U$C

Prop bet in Vegas
D'oh-arnold coughs up football
Loses game, Heisman.

41 point dog
Ten years ago madness strikes
Wish I'd be the line.

Struggles with Broncos
SC defense still tired
Scarlett Love prevails.
—Jeff

(In response to Gary T's submission of Elemental Haiku to this blog)
Hilarious, Gar
But no Stanford or 'SC
Try again, slacker.
—Cynthia

August 26, 2017: Stanford 62, Rice 7

McLovin was split up
Just like Solomon's baby
Shaw still bland as rice.
—Jeff

Why a game in Oz?
Koalas and kangaroos
TV revenue.
—Richey

Pre-Big-Game Haiku

Tired, so tired
Take the taste out of my mouth
By roasting weenies.

Ordinarily
Running backs, not cornerbacks
Are ankle breakers.

Which Kevin Hogan
Do we see on Saturday?
Salvage the season.

We're leaving Las Vegas
On Sunday 12/21
Victory in hand.

Farm will rise again
Team's reach should exceed grasp or
What's the Rose Bowl for?
—Jeff Suto

Irrelevant Game
Two losers, pitched in battle
Back to normalcy.
—Richey Neuman

Thoughts on the upcoming Stanford vs. UCLA game.

Jim Mora Junior
Bringing UCLA back
Wants playoffs like Dad.
—We Bow to No Man

"UCLA." A
Lot of letters for a school.
Waste of haiku space.

We need to beat them:
UCLA. See? Whole line.
Again: Need to win.
—Richey

Stanford 34, San Jose State, 13

No scare like last year

No more playing Spartan games?

Sammy wants more dough.
--We Bow to No Man

Great expectations
It could be the best of times
Did Dickens play ball?
--We Bow to No Man

BCS-bound Cardinal (just in case it's the Fiesta Bowl)

Oh, come on; I had
to say it: Boom'er Sooner?
I hardly know 'er.
--Gary Tyrrell

Sins of the father
Somehow avoid son
Newton's law of privity.

Primogeniture
Reggie Bush to press:
If I didn't ask, do I get?

Cam Newton as John Banner
Take my dad to the cooler
I know nuthink, Herr Colonel!
--We Bow to No Man

Upon hearing that
Stanford would not get Rose Bowl
Small football fan wept.
--Cynthia Gentry

BCS-Bound Cardinal

Orange Bowl haikus
Easier than limericks
Harder to rhyme "orange."

ACC's Hokies
Versus the Fighting Harbaughs:
Stanford will smoke 'em.

Andrew Luck's swan song?
Please please please please please please, no.
Get your degree first.

NFL lock-out.
Stay in school, Jim and Andrew.
Twenty-twelve Rose Bowl
--Gary Tyrrell

Stanford 38, Oregon State 0

4 in BCS
Never thought I'd see the day
Can you say "road trip"?!?

Harbaugh stock is high
Big offers likely coming
Bye, Singletary?
--Richey

Visit Bowl Central for a recap of the Stanford-Oregon State blowout--I mean "game."

A stadium half full or half empty?

An article in today's San Jose Mercury News described Stanford's trouble in filling its stadium despite a record football season. Our very own Gary Tyrrell is quoted.

Empty stadium
Guilt over not attending
Word, Gary Tyrrell
--We Bow to No Man

Stanford 37, USC 31

Traveler VII
Ready for glue factor
Kiffin as knacker.
--We Bow to No Man

Post-season sanctions
may become irrelevant
for SoCal cheaters.
--We Bow to No Man

"Watched" game on iPhone
Text trash from sis in L.A.
Silenced at 0:00.
--Richey

Stanford vs. Oregon, 31-52

Grew up in Eugene
Ducks sucked when I was a youth
Welcome to my world.
--Richey

Quack quack quack quack quack
can't believe we fucking lost
quack quack quack quack quack.
--Nima

Quack attack. We're stunned.
Too stunned to create haiku.
Et tu, Gary T?
--Cynthia Gentry

Stanford 68, Wake Forest 24

September Nineteenth
It's Talk Like a Pirate Day
Hail to Coach Harrrrrrrrrbaugh

"Is that us?" I asked
Regarding black-clad Stanford.
I meant "Is that we?"

What Steely Dan meant:
Call Stanford the Mighty Red
Call them Deacon blue.
--Gary Tyrrell