On the eve of the Stanford-UCLA game

Reunion weekend

Can Stanford keep momentum?

Need those donations.

—Jeff

September 1, 2023: Stanford 37, Hawai'i 24

Coach Taylor's debut:

Daniels, Yurosek, Bailey

Shine bright in win.

LB David Bailey:

Pac-12 Player of the Week

Three sacks? No problem.

—Cynthia

October 26: Stanford 15, Oregon State 14

"Keller Chryst threw a 3-yard touchdown pass to JJ Arcega-Whiteside with 20 seconds left and No. 20 Stanford survived Bryce Love's absence for a 15-14 come-from-behind victory over Oregon State on Thursday night." Stanford Athletics recap

Those angry Beavers
Outplayed, outcoached, Cardinal
Why no Costello?

Nuhn-nuhn-nuhn-nuhn-nuhn
That's the sound of a QB's
Eyes locked on target.
—Jeff Suto

On the eve of Stanford vs. Utah

Old school David Shaw
No job loss for injury
Chryst is arisen.
—Jeff

Would it be mean to write a haiku about Josh Shaw?

"USC cornerback Josh Shaw admitted to school officials that he had fabricated a story about rescuing a nephew from drowning and lied about how he suffered ankle injuries, the school announced Wednesday." —Los Angeles Times

Yes, it is mean, but
What would Manti Te'o do?
College kids f up.
—Gary Tyrrell

Ordinarily
Running backs, not cornerbacks
Are ankle breakers.
—Jeff Suto

Big Game Week Haiku

Expectations kill
A disappointing season?
With just two losses?
—We Bow to No Man

One hundred sixteenth:
More than a century of
Stanford dominance.
—Gary Tyrrell

Take care of weenies
Hope for series of upsets
Alamo not bad.
—We Bow to No Man

Traditional foes,
One puts sport ahead of class,
The other's bowl bound.

Give 'em the Axe! Where?
(Many choices...one is clear)
Right in the neck! There!
—Scott DeBarger

"U.C. Berkeley"
Five syllables? Four? Not sure.
The Weenies still suck.
—Richey Neuman

Thoughts on the upcoming Stanford vs. UCLA game.

Jim Mora Junior
Bringing UCLA back
Wants playoffs like Dad.
—We Bow to No Man

"UCLA." A
Lot of letters for a school.
Waste of haiku space.

We need to beat them:
UCLA. See? Whole line.
Again: Need to win.
—Richey

October 12, 2013: Stanford 21, Utah 27

Coach Shaw's forgotten

More football than I will know.

I would have run it.

--Gary T.

Two yards to first down.

You had plenty of time. Twice.

Incomplete passes? Absurd.

--Fake Bill Walsh

October 5, 2013: Stanford 31, Washington 28

Stanford coach on fire
Husky games now death matches
Coach Snark true Trojan.
--We Bow to No Man

False accusation
From Husky Sarkisian
Much more "waahh" than "woof."
--Gary T.

Stanford 34, San Jose State, 13

No scare like last year

No more playing Spartan games?

Sammy wants more dough.
--We Bow to No Man

Great expectations
It could be the best of times
Did Dickens play ball?
--We Bow to No Man

BCS-bound Cardinal (just in case it's the Fiesta Bowl)

Oh, come on; I had
to say it: Boom'er Sooner?
I hardly know 'er.
--Gary Tyrrell

Sins of the father
Somehow avoid son
Newton's law of privity.

Primogeniture
Reggie Bush to press:
If I didn't ask, do I get?

Cam Newton as John Banner
Take my dad to the cooler
I know nuthink, Herr Colonel!
--We Bow to No Man

Upon hearing that
Stanford would not get Rose Bowl
Small football fan wept.
--Cynthia Gentry

BCS-Bound Cardinal

Orange Bowl haikus
Easier than limericks
Harder to rhyme "orange."

ACC's Hokies
Versus the Fighting Harbaughs:
Stanford will smoke 'em.

Andrew Luck's swan song?
Please please please please please please, no.
Get your degree first.

NFL lock-out.
Stay in school, Jim and Andrew.
Twenty-twelve Rose Bowl
--Gary Tyrrell

Stanford 38, Oregon State 0

4 in BCS
Never thought I'd see the day
Can you say "road trip"?!?

Harbaugh stock is high
Big offers likely coming
Bye, Singletary?
--Richey

Visit Bowl Central for a recap of the Stanford-Oregon State blowout--I mean "game."

A stadium half full or half empty?

An article in today's San Jose Mercury News described Stanford's trouble in filling its stadium despite a record football season. Our very own Gary Tyrrell is quoted.

Empty stadium
Guilt over not attending
Word, Gary Tyrrell
--We Bow to No Man

Stanford Continuing Studies

The cognoscenti
have discovered the virtues
of five syllables.
--We Bow to No Man

Stanford 37, USC 31

Traveler VII
Ready for glue factor
Kiffin as knacker.
--We Bow to No Man

Post-season sanctions
may become irrelevant
for SoCal cheaters.
--We Bow to No Man

"Watched" game on iPhone
Text trash from sis in L.A.
Silenced at 0:00.
--Richey

Stanford 68, Wake Forest 24

September Nineteenth
It's Talk Like a Pirate Day
Hail to Coach Harrrrrrrrrbaugh

"Is that us?" I asked
Regarding black-clad Stanford.
I meant "Is that we?"

What Steely Dan meant:
Call Stanford the Mighty Red
Call them Deacon blue.
--Gary Tyrrell

Cynthia asks: Where is the Stanford Snuggie?

Get close to your team!
Famous intimacy sage
Plugs logo'ed Snuggies
--We Bow to No Man

And the Heisman goes to...not Toby.

Regional bias
What were voters thinking?
Neil Young was right.
--We Bow to No Man

How does a senior
Lose Heisman to a soph'more
Blame AD not press.
--Fake Bill Walsh